Do you find yourself more often than not stuck in your past? Weather you’re feeling nostalgic, or you can’t let go of yesterdays heartbreaks, one thing is true; you can’t be in the present if you’re stuck in a phycological time warp.
I know exactly how this feels, and I still at times have to remind myself not to get stuck on the past, weather we’re talking about yesterday’s mistakes or we’re talking about four years ago’s mistakes. Regret is something I have personally struggled with more often than anything else, however less and less so the more time goes on.
Something I learned that helped me overcome this was realizing that a big part of why I couldn’t lay my past to rest was because I was afraid of the future. It’s natural to be afraid of the unknown, and in fact the only place we know how to live is in the past! When I realized that life is actually one big go around in the unknown, I was…more frightened then ever with some depression on top.
How do we learn to love life when we’re afraid of living?
We learn how to get excited about the prospects the future holds. The first step in doing this is to assess all that you have right now that ensures you to have a beautiful life in the unknown. Now, if you’re like me, upon first assessment you might come away discouraged. But I encourage you to look again…
Rethink something that you don’t like about yourself. Heres one example: I know a lot of girls who feel like they can’t fit in because their personalities are just too…let’s say distinct for lack of a better word. These women have a hard time meshing with their peers because others find them too…uncomfortable, weird, strange, ect. When I meet someone like this do you know what I see?
I see a bud that will someday become a flower. People who feel strange have merely begun to blossom into the beautiful people they will become. They merely need to allow themselves to bloom, and how do they do this? By surrounding themselves with light and love, i.e. people who will encourage/embrace/support them. Run with the doers and the happy thinkers, don’t waste your time drowning with the downers.
And here’s the thing, you can’t physically be in the past. So when you’re there, it’s like your in limbo. Possibly you’re afraid to be in the present because you’re not only afraid of the unknown, but of the known as well. Sometimes we don’t want to feel what we know we will feel when we are present with ourselves. Do you know what I mean?
Here’s one more thing, we have to face our fears, no matter what they are, to overcome them. I encourage you to be totally present, both physically and emotionally. Allow yourself to be present with your feelings and your fears, and remember that you are not alone when you do so.
Cut your losses, whatever they may be, no matter how hard it may be, and celebrate your victories, both that have been accomplished and will be accomplished.
To sum up…plus a little extra:
#1) Recognize why you’re living in the past with your mistakes
#2) Recognize your beautiful points ( things that may be mistaken as faults by society )
#3) Surround yourself with those who are comfortable with themselves and therefore can be a positive force in your life
#4) Cut your losses ( stop focusing on your mistakes ) and celebrate your victories
#5) Be present with yourself and always strive to be positive
I’d also like to add that you should be able to move on from the past with the understanding that it’s alright to still feel what you feel about certain situations. For instance, if someone hurt you and you want to forgive them but don’t know how or are not ready yet, forgive yourself now for not being “over it”. The forgiveness for the other party involved will undoubtedly come with time. The less pressure you put around yourself concerning past life experiences and losses will make room for a more positive and healing atmosphere to take their place.