The children that should have been aborted

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The following was my response to a very popular pro-choice female blogger and Planned Parenthood supporter claiming that she had seen too many foster children who should have been aborted. I believe her exact words were, “I’ve seen foster kids who have gone from home to home, and whatever, and their quality of life was just not that great and it was never going to get better.” The implication was clear in the text; they really would be better off had they been aborted.

To a certain extent, this is true. We can’t save babies. Mothers and babies are a package deal, and it’s the mothers that need to be protected. At the end of an abortion, the baby will find peace. The mother will still be left to deal with the physical, emotional and spiritual damage that is not talked about in our culture.

My response gained a lot of attention in her comment section, triggering hate as well as praise, so here again I’ll share it with you: AbortionHurtsWomen-1   How heartbreaking it is, just how arrogant we have become to believe that we can know who should have died and who logically should live. We have forgotten that the act of sex is designed for procreation, and so when a baby pops up “out of the blue” and surprises us, of course we must then ‘choose’. It is in this way that babies are rendered the enemy of sex, and just as we must in every war, we dehumanize the enemy to make ourselves feel justified in our killings.

When I “fell pregnant” ( I’ve literally heard that term used with sincerity ) in a dark time during my late teens, I was, and am forever so grateful to have already seen the suffering of women who had been lied to before me. I knew that in my womb was nothing less than a beautiful baby with a soul and a heartbeat.

Why else would other women spend their lives grieving the loss of “a mass of cells and tissue”? Why would the birth of their next child be both a joyous time and a heart aching reminder of what was snuffed out years earlier? 180-movie If you haven’t seen the movie 180, well…I won’t recommend you watch it because I know you won’t. I often think of one powerful clip of real footage in which a group of German townsfolk take a stroll down to their local concentration camp after seeing a billow of smoke rising above it. Upon entering the furnace their faces are happy and carefree. Upon leaving they are in tears and no less than horror-struck.

We can be told someone is not human enough times that we eventually can believe it’s true. But to see, firsthand, bodies burning – if you could see a baby thrown in the trash can after having it’s brain vacuumed out, if you could see a baby have its precious limbs removed or be burned in acid – it might break you of the lies you cling to. Best quote from October Baby by an office assistant – “I saw him lying there, shaking on the table, and I didn’t see no mass of cells, I saw the face of a child…” 23-week-fetus-abortion-i0   To be clear, I do not believe abortion will ever be stopped. But my wish for every woman who faces unplanned pregnancy is that the lies and secrecy around abortion would end. I wish for them that we might brave the truth, and speak it. I wish they could be told what their baby looks like before seeing him or her hauled to the trash can, because that image will haunt them until death. It’s not fair.

Let’s speak the truth about fetal development, and then let who still wishes abort. Let’s give women the opportunity to make informed choices, and let’s stop allowing ourselves and teaching our daughters to become mere pawns for political gain by those who will never know the pain we might face. 50997447234febdcb28a9d194cdb226e We cannot escape the physical and emotional laws of cause and effect. A child may be killed but it doesn’t mean they never existed; they’re just dead, and a world of unspoken hurt has been created for a new mother.

Raising happy daughters in spite of stretch marks

I find it’s almost impossible, surrounded by so many digitally altered women everyday, to feel confident about my body ALL the time. I’ve counseled women on body image and blogged about it more than enough, yet still I find myself frowning in the mirror about certain ‘unchangeables’ on a daily basis, and all advice I’ve given seems completely meaningless in those moments.

MAN my nose is weird, my hair too thin and seriously, could my legs be any twiggier?

*Sigh*. It’s not easy being a woman today. The struggle will always be real, but this morning I feel compelled to share with you something personal from my life that helps me stay present with rationality.

Nevaeh and mommy

In the face of my ever-present insecurities, and though I have many, many faults as a mother, I have always remained conscious of how I regard my physical self in front of my kids. Of particular concern to me is my daughter, for obvious reasons.

When Nevaeh asks about my stretch marks, I tell her with a smile that they are the love marks I got to receive when God knit her and her brothers together in my belly.

When she sees me putting coverup on and asks me what it’s for, I tell her with a smile that sometimes I like to put makeup on for some extra pizazz, but that I don’t ever need to wear it.

And when my husband compliments my looks in front of my daughter, I don’t ever give the usual courtesy denials. You know, “Oh, noooo, geez, I’m looking a little chubby,” or, “No way, I totally look like death today”.

NO WAY.

I answer my husbands compliments with something less hostile, such as, “Thank you, I so appreciate that”.

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It traces back to the concept that our kids don’t do what we say, they do what we do. It is less recognized, however, that they also believe what we say when we think they’re not listening to us. This is something my mom understood when my sister and I were growing up. Were we completely sheltered from body shaming and negative self-image? No, we had struggles, but our moms ability to filter some of her more negative ideals of ‘self’ certainly gave us water wings on which to stay afloat the madness.

There’s an unspoken rule among women that if you don’t negate the nice things someone says about you, you are a narcissistic weirdo. Yeah, I engage in that behavior myself, but I toe the line of censorship when my daughter is present, teetering on the fine line between perceived vanity and the self-loathing vernacular we are more comfortable with.

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Women desperately need this wakeup call: However different you and your daughter may look, she will grow into a young woman who sees herself EXACTLY, and with no exception, as you see yourself.

When you look in the mirror with disgust and contempt for the body that serves you, please look at your daughter and imagine her living that same way.

We can’t change overnight the way we feel about ourselves or the advertising we are exposed to, and in truth there’s a high probability that we’ll never be able to change those things.

One thing we always have control over is the vocabulary and expressions we choose to share with our daughters. As mothers of daughters it is our responsibility to filter what we say and to teach our girls gratitude for a body that is functional and facilitates life.

No matter how you feel about yourself today, try it. Say something nice about yourself in the presence of your daughter.

vaeh

 

 

 

Red salmon & food energetics

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My boys brought home some beautiful winter king salmon – to my my great excitement because it was a lifting day for me, yay 😀 – and WOW, the ways I could go on about the benefits of this fish. I have to emphasize to my AK friends how blessed we are to have the opportunity to eat this incredible dish so readily.

Red Salmon facts –

* The best muscle building food you can get your hands on, it trumps red meat ANY day.

* That red orange color is Omega 3 fatty acid – this is extremely important for overall but especially BRAIN health. You need Omega 3’s. Period.

* Fish intelligence

Ancient knowledge tells us that we take on the properties, both physical, vibrational and mental, of what we eat. Native Americans prized deer meat because of the stealth, demeanor and intelligence of the animal. Even in todays world where we are so consciously disconnected to our natural hunting and gathering senses, you can still see the subconscious mind working on our behalf to enable us in our daily endeavors.

For example, business men especially, and those in other such ‘cut-throat high pressure’ jobs, tend to be drawn towards eating beef because of the stubbornness/bullheadedness of cattle. Buisness men subconsciously know that they need such energies/qualities to succeed in their careers.

The more we learn about fish, the more we learn just how complex the communication methods are between fish and fish schools. There is still much to learn about these animals, but it is safe to say that they are extremely intelligent, and that when we eat fish we are not just benefiting from the Omega 3’s ( how amazing is nature, right? ), we’re taking on their energetic properties as well.

This is no coincidence, we see this phenomenon in nature consistently. The avocado is so beneficial for healthy uterine function, (it’s actually been recommended that pregnant women consume 2 -3 avocados per day ) and what do they look like? A womb. Right?

Tomatoes have lycopene ( which btw the old saying is that we must cook the tomato to get 5 x the lycopene, but new research shows that we can BLEND the tomato for 5 x the lycopene! YAY for raw foodies! But i digress… ) that is very beneficial for the heart, and what does it look like? A heart. It is said by raw foodies everywhere that tomato is not only good for the physical heart, but the heart energy we carry.

At the end of the day, some people are interested in food energetics, and some aren’t.

For those that are, here is my advice: It’s all about listening to your body. The world of nutritional advice can be so confusing, Right? A good healthy habit to practice – meditation.

Quiet your mind, forget what you’re told you should and shouldn’t eat, and listen to your body. Our minds can be tricked, and our minds can over think anything, but our bodies by design are never wrong!

Happy healthy eating all!